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Note: Below are excerpts from a alternation of belletrist on Ichiro Suzuki filed by an bearding advance for the Cincinnati Reds organization. These belletrist are not exhaustive.



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DATE: 8/17/1999

NAME:



PLAYER: Ichiro Suzuki

TEAM: Orix Blue Wave



GRADES: Hit: 50/40 Power: 25/25 Speed: 55/45 Defense: 50/50

Interesting profile. Makes constant acquaintance but slaps pitches into dirt. He beats throws because he runs out of box during beat (Illegal?).

Poor-man’s Kenny Lofton in both acreage and hit. Bat ascendancy appropriate abundant to handle inferior Japanese casting but slap-mechanics will be overmatched with MLB velo.

Small anatomy and already 27. No projection. Can bandy the brawl a bit. Maybe a pitcher?

Tweener AAA type. Doesn’t comedy American appearance of baseball. Not for us.

Other oddities: awe-inspiring addition accepted afore at bat. Holds bat like sword/candle (??) pre-pitch. Japanese admirers adulation it but will not gel with MLB players/fans. Not account the risk.

UPDATE (7/17/00): Hustle: 20/20(!!!)

In acknowledgment to your addendum about the bulk of added teams absorbed I acquire adapted my report:

Refuses to bedraggled compatible to dive for abutting plays (germaphobe?). Not a high-effort player. Would rather hit than airing and advice aggregation win. Loves all the absorption and won’t get that here.

Body won’t authority up for a abounding season. Looks breakable as a bird. A heron, maybe. He array of glides about the acreage like his weight is actuality agitated by airy wings. He floats. Hard to describe. Unnerving to watch.

Mariners are all over him. They can acquire him, article is off (Low ass?).

DO NOT ACQUIRE.

Side note: attractive advanced to abiding from Japan assignment, the aliment actuality does not accede with me. They undercook their fish. Dangerous.

UPDATE (4/11/01): Defense: 55/55

Guy makes one bandy and they anticipate he’s Bo Jackson. Big deal. Put him on the mound, then, area he belongs.

UPDATE (6/12/01): Hit: 55/50

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Responding to your appeal for addition report, again:

Weird aboriginal few months, admittedly. I apperceive I put my acceptability on the line, but I still don’t see it. His numbers attending acceptable now, but aloof delay until the alliance adjusts. Plays ability position but doesn’t drive ball. Literally avalanche over as he swings. That’s how my three-year-old babe Jessica swings.

Still authoritative contact, though. Lucky bounces. Swiped a few bags. Will get a few of those. Bodies don’t assume to apperception awe-inspiring pre-batting stance/ritual. Some kids in avenue artful it (mocking??). Aggregation is arena able-bodied about him, makes him attending better. Still something… off.

Side note: Bret Boone is the one we should be attractive at. Plays with affection and hustle like his brother. Abundant makeup. Acceptable body, high-ass. Why aren’t we attractive at him?

UPDATE (09/02/02): Power: 30/30

I apperceive I’m not actuality for him, but Dave keeps assay me about the Ichiro kid. He says I busted up big time. Says I absent something.

Look, Dave (I apperceive you are account these, I saw one of my belletrist affianced in the breakroom for anybody to mock), the kid is aloof not a aloft alliance brawl player. Anyone can hit if you abandon your bat at the baseball and alpha sprinting to first. Hell I can bandy my bat at a baseball and run. He’s aloof fast. The bold needs added McGwire’s, not Ichiros (first name on jersey?? why is the alliance angle over astern for him??).

The bold will never embrace him. Erstad after the hustle and beneath power. Will ablution out of this alliance continued afore I do.

Even his BP’s are a delusion but I’ve added an added 5 for the few assurance that larboard the backyard during my (too long) time here.

Guy is not a winner, period.

Side note: My babe Jessica is allurement why I don’t assignment as abundant as I acclimated to and I anticipate that’s a acceptable question. I aloof bought a new home for my ancestors in Cinci, as you know, but bisected my trips are to watch the aforementioned aggregation and appraise a amateur I acquire already appear on. At this point it feels intentional. If I am accepting let go or reassigned, I would like some answers. I already fabricated my deposit.

UPDATE (09/20/04): Hit: 65/50

Enough. Yes. I see that he has burst the hit record. I acquire adapted his score, but this is temporary. He will disappear. His legs will go and so will he.

And, if you haven’t noticed, the Mariners acquire not won annihilation with him on the roster. I do not acquire this is a coincidence. I acquire a theory.

And (DAVE DO NOT READ) I apperceive that you apperceive that I acquire had to advertise my home. Tanya has larboard me and taken Jessica with her. Tanya says I acquire not been the aforementioned aback Japan (the fish?). I am now in an accommodation alfresco of Seattle. I am actual abutting to arcade my (highly respected) abilities to new teams. What is my approaching here?

Side note: I acquire watched Ichiro abode his bats in cases like they are fabricated of diamonds. I acquire apparent him eat the aforementioned meal (Japanese curry) afore every game. Watched him amplitude the aforementioned anatomy for the aforementioned breadth of time (I acquire timed him). He takes the aforementioned cardinal of swings during practice. It is too calculated. Too exact. I abhorrence that if I said what I anticipate I would be up on the breach allowance bank again. But addition should attending into his aberrant behaviors.

UPDATE (7/23/05): Speed: 60/45

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They alarm him a god in Japan, able-bodied that says a lot about that culture, don’t you think? If he is a god he is a bluff god. He is a smoke after the fire. He comes in the night and steals your able acceptability and doesn’t acquire the appropriateness to apologize in English.

The Mariners are advantageous the price. Their losses are VINDICATION!

Ass is still too low.

UPDATE (8/16/06): Hit: 70/60

This is sadistic, this is a punishment. Ichiro went 4-4 today. You knew he would, didn’t you? You all knew. Did you acquaint him to attending for me in the stands, too? Was this planned?

After his fourth hit, as he angled second, his eyes begin abundance aloft the dugout. A beneath accurate eyewitness would acquire absent it, or shrugged it off as a glance from a amateur sliding into third. But I acquire absent annihilation in my decades as a scout.

In his eyes I acquainted some force attempting to beat me. A atramentous acute adjoin my heart. I acquainted the affair coast its way central my chest and advance about the edges of my being, aggravating to acquisition refuge. I knew he was aggravating to booty me, as he had the others. I resisted. I acquire how this sounds, but you weren’t there (DAVE!).

I apprehend this is how he has done it: He has beguiled us. The bat captivated aloft in advanced of him, that he pulls from the atramentous cases, are not simple board tools. No. The bats are the totems of witchdoctors, the wands of a witch, the apparatus by which he performs his spells over aggregation and fan. And his stretches, too, performed in absolute synchronicity at absolute times, are not meant to anticipate pulled muscles. They are rituals of the incantation, the dances of the devil.

The air is abundant here. Thick and cloying. The bodies carol in staccato rhythms aback he walks to the plate, durably beneath his influence.

I, too, cannot breathe aback he accomplish to bat. I cannot attending away. He will not let me.

UPDATE (8/28/06): Witchcraft: 80/80

I respectfully adios your termination. This will not be my aftermost report. I acquire followed the Mariners at anniversary stop, anniversary city. I will betrayal him for what he is. He will blooper up and I will acquisition him there, the Emperor with no clothes, ashamed, appear to be annihilation added than a conjurer.

The aliment is subpar. I’m sending you my expenses.

UPDATE (5/3/07): Darkness: 80/80

I acquire an absolute accumulation of aloof sheets. Please stop commitment me aback my entries. I will not attending at them, you are crumbling the time of admired mail persons.

UPDATE (6/12/08): Suffering: 80/80

TO ALL OF THE LOW-ASSES!

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You acquire not witnessed the SUPREME POWER of a SCOUT. I accomplish and breach bodies application alone words and NUMBERS. I DETERMINE the aisle of LIVES. I abode 20/20s on anniversary and every one of you for sending me your abandoned belletrist and emails, such as: CEASE AND DESIST. And: WILL REPORT TO POLICE.

It seems alleged ICHIRO has completed his abounding takeover of AMERICAN SOCIETY with the advice of WITCHCRAFT and, if you hadn’t notice, INSULTED the abundant American accompaniment of Ohio in the process.

For shame. I acquire removed my babe Jessica from BASEBALL activities so continued as he is a presence. Baseball is banned in our household. Tanya has angry adjoin me and so acquire my alleged friends. Your accomplishments will accompany aloft you abundant ruin. The bold will die as the Mariners hopes of altercation have. He is siphoning us, clarification us of power.

I acquire taken addition job (for which I am yet to be paid). I acquire answer myself to arch of MLB SCOUTING. I now acquaint all of MLB. I say ICHIRO is a 15/15 in all categories. He has burst the SACRED SCALE.

DO NOT ACQUIRE! NO ONE ACQUIRE!

(SOME ENTRIES INCOMPLETE/BURNED)

UPDATE (03/21/19): Hit: 80/80 Power: 80/80 Speed: 80/80 Defense: 80/80

I behest this from my hospital bed to my daughter, Jessica. She who does not bethink a apple after Ichiro.

It is early, actuality in . On the television I see the Mariners are arena the A’s in Japan. His beard is grey, abundance white. Ichiro has outlasted me.

I understand, now. There can be no achievement begin in a activity spent analytic for flaws–the activity of a scout. Not aback there are men like Ichiro who baffle the categories with which I ordered my world.

I see that in Japan, bodies weep. Here, in my bed, I do as well.

He has baffled me, and I acquire suffered for it. Now, I accept. I feel his attendance gliding like a heron into my heart, landing cautiously as if I were a quiet pond and not the burst charcoal of a burst old man. His bat is aloft aloft, his face resolute, his anatomy turns. I watch him run.

Yet there is still article I will never be able to let go. One actuality that I will booty with me into the apple and above from there. A anticipation that has formed the appearance of my passing, an abstraction that has a anatomy and momentum, one aftermost class with which I will appraise into the abutting realm.

That anticipation is this:

They say that Ichiro loves the bold added than anyone who has anytime played.

But, if you absolutely adulation something, why, then, would you breach it?

Ed. Note: The MLB and the Cincinnati Reds acquire denied ability of these aloof belletrist and, admitting crumbling to animadversion publicly, additionally abjure the actuality of the advance as a person.

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