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Earlier this year I became a ancestor for the aboriginal time aback my wife gave bearing to a little boy, followed by a little babe 14 account later. It’s been great, but if you’ve never had kids afore it’s adamantine to adapt for how abundant your activity is activity to change. Aback you’re a first-time ancestor with baby twins (twinfants?), every distinct allotment of your activity is dictated by twins because you don’t apperceive what you’re accomplishing and you accept no abstraction how adamantine annihilation is activity to be until you try to do it.



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Want to go to grab a beer afterwards work? Can’t, you accept to go abate the aide afore she gets astute to the actuality that she should be charging bifold for two babies. Baby has a doctor appointment? You accept to booty a ailing day because your wife can’t booty two babies beyond boondocks by herself, afresh already you get there you acquisition out that the assistant didn’t apperceive how to accomplish a bifold arrangement and abandoned fabricated an arrangement for one of them. Appetite to go home for Thanksgiving? Too bad, the babies are 20 pounds now and you would anniversary accept to authority one for hours while accustomed bottles and diapers on two flights and a layover.

Don’t get me wrong, twins are awesome, but aback every accommodation I accomplish now has to be fabricated while cerebration “how are does accepting a clutter of babies at home accomplish this harder than it has to be” we’re activity to booty a dive into the apple of twins on this week’s ability poll. To the graphs!



Is there anyone larboard who disagrees that, already again, Ohio State is far and aloft the best aggregation in the conference? Like their counterparts in Columbus, Artemis and Apollo were gods cardinal over their commonwealth of mortals. In Greek mythology, Leto gave bearing to Artemis, goddess of the hunt, first. She angry about anon afterwards her bearing and helped bear her accompanying brother. Apollo, the sun god, came out with a aureate brand in his hand.

Ohio State ability not accept a brand fabricated of gold, but they’ve got affluence of weapons on the field. For bigger or worse, Ohio State is apparently authoritative the playoffs B1G again.



High 1 Aboriginal Abode Votes 16 Aftermost Anniversary 1

Twins Robin and Maurice Gibb were two-thirds of your admired disco group. Afore they were a big deal, the Gibb brothers spent over a decade in Queensland Australia arena pop music and achievieng middling success. Eventually they fabricated abundant access in the industry that they were able to get a audience band to the board of ambassador Brian Epstein (known for advertent The Beatles). They were offered a abiding arrangement and became all-embracing stars anon after.

It’s apparently too aboriginal to say that Minnesota has begin their Brian Epstein in PJ Fleck, but man is it attractive like he’s got them canoeing their way into civic relevance. Afterwards an absorbing achievement over Penn State, the Gophers will attending to accumulate Stayin’ Alive adjoin Iowa this Saturday.

H 2 Low 5 LW 3

Dennis and Sweet Dee, Danny DeVito’s egotistic accouchement (but not really) from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia are allotment of the assemblage that owns Paddy’s Pub. Dennis is a sociopath, bedeviled with his image, and possibly a consecutive killer. Dee has Quixotic fantasies about her success as an ambitious extra and comedian. Together they accomplish a artful and abhorrent brace that makes the apple a worse abode for anybody in their orbit, yet they escape every bearings safe and accessible to animation aback the abutting anniversary to resume their bullshit. I feel like this doesn’t charge added explaining.

H 2 L 5 LW 2

The McGuire Twins were almost alien able wrestlers afore the Guinness Book of Apple Records alleged them “World’s Heaviest Twins”, advancing in at a accumulated weight of 1,468 pounds. They are calmly one of the best apparent pairs of twins in history, admitting abounding bodies ability not apperceive absolutely why. I accept I’m not the abandoned one who knew absolutely annihilation about the McGuire twins alfresco of their motorcycle photo afore now. A simple photo brought them success and fame, admitting their abridgement of any absolute accomplishments.

Wisconsin has acceptable victories over Michigan and Michigan State, but they followed that up by accident to a 2-4 Illinois aggregation and accepting run out of the amphitheater by Ohio State. Are you abashed about why OTE holds the Badgers in such aerial regard? You’re not alone, so are we.

H 2 L 5 LW 4

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The Duffer Brothers fabricated a scattering of abbreviate films you’ve never apparent or heard of afore accepting their big breach as producers on Wayward Pines. Aback Wayward Pines concluded afterwards its additional season, they started casting their abutting project, a little actualization alleged Stranger Things.

If you alive beneath a bedrock and haven’t watched it yet, Stranger Things is a sci-fi/horror alternation that takes abode in a baby midwestern boondocks in the 80’s. It’s got alternating dimensions, abstruse Cold War abstracts gone wrong, accouchement with superpowers, and affluence of Dungeons and Dragons. It borrows heavily from 1980’s abhorrence movies, and it’s got lots of 80’s fashion, slang, and music. It’s basically an admiration to the Duffers’ childhood.

Michigan is a acceptable abundant team, but it allowances heavily on homesickness for an age that a acceptable block of their admirers apparently don’t remember. Still, aloof as the Emmy nominations for Stranger Things will accumulate rolling in afterwards amounting to anything, Michigan will accumulate accepting aloof abundant votes to accumulate them in the top 5.

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Tegan and Sara Quinn are a Canadian indie bedrock duo. If you haven’t listened to them before, I’ll abeyance for a moment so you can beck Heartthrob in its entirety.

Tegan and Sara haven’t had a accomplished lot of boilerplate success, but they’ve got a loyal afterward on academy campuses about the country. They’ve spent best of their career beneath the radar, but they’re a hell of a lot of fun.

Nobody is assured the Hoosiers to accomplish the playoffs any time soon, but hey they’re arena appealing acceptable football, they’re activity bowling, they’re ranked in the AP poll for the aboriginal time in forever. Enjoy the ride.

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He-Man and She-Ra, additionally accepted as Prince Adam and Princess Adora, are the accompanying accouchement of King Randor, adjudicator of Eternia. Together they avert the cosmos from the angry Skeletor, forth with He-Man’s pet tiger Battle Cat (who would transform into the afraid Cringer aback He-Man was aloof abnormality about as Prince Adam).

The absolute actualization was conceived as a alternation of 23-minute activity bulk commercials bearded as episodes, so there are a lot of awe-inspiring borderline characters with names like Man-E-Faces (who has abounding faces), Fisto, Sy-Klone, and Clawful. It’s always built-in as one of the weirder moments in American pop culture.

Iowa’s breach is as anachronous and aesthetically aberrant in 2019 as the Masters of the Cosmos would be if you appear the aboriginal alternation today. The abridgement of change and an abhorrence to change agency we’re activity to see a lot added of this Dolph Lundgren-ass breach for years to come.

H 6 L 7 LW 6

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The 80’s cine Twins stars Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger as Vincent and Julius Benedict. They were the aftereffect of a abstruse government agreement to actualize the absolute human. Afar at birth, Julius was aloft by scientists in a lab, while Vincent became a bastard conman.

Eventually the two accommodated anniversary added and acquaintance a agglomeration of archetypal associate ball actuality afore the accurate attributes of their origins is revealed, address some ablaze on their arresting aberration in concrete actualization and stature. The scientists succeeded in creating the absolute animal (Julius), but aback the antecedent breach it larboard Vincent with all the extra abiogenetic garbage. Was 1988 way too backward for association to be air-conditioned with authoritative a cine about eugenics? Probably!

Illinois spent the aboriginal 6 amateur of the division active as Vincent, but now acquisition themselves in an abrupt absolute 4 bold acceptable streak. Best of us anticipation it would be years afore we’d see Illinois with a single-digit baronial again. Well done, Lovie.

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Shakespeare’s The Twelfth Night is a ball about twins who are afar afterwards a shipwreck. Viola washes aground and disguises herself as a man, who she names Cesario. Cesario begins alive for a adolescent and handsome Duke, who is allure a woman alleged Olivia. Eventually an anarchistic adulation triangle forms aback Viola avalanche in adulation with the Duke (who thinks she’s a man), while the Duke continues to adulation Olivia, who has now collapsed in adulation with Cesario (who is absolutely Viola). Eventually Viola’s accompanying Sebastian arrives and is mistaken for Cesario (being a man who looks like his sister Viola) and it becomes a awe-inspiring adulation quadrangle.

The affair is, I could’ve chock-full afterwards the chat “shipwreck” and you all would’ve accepted why I chose Sebastian and Viola for Purdue. I aloof absolutely appetite you guys to go apprehend The Twelfth Night because it’s one of my favorites.

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These two accepted admonition columns were at one time accounting by identical twins. Eppie Lederer took over the Ask Ann Landers cavalcade aback she won a challenge to alter the antecedent biographer aback they died. Her sister Pauline Phillips started account the cavalcade and affected she could do a bigger job, so she begged the San Francisco Chronicle to alpha active her own, yet to be accounting cavalcade and Dear Abby was born.

The antagonism acquired a altercation amid the sisters, and they banned to allege to anniversary added for abounding years. One decidedly abundant moment of sisterly pettiness came aback Pauline offered her (now syndicated) cavalcade to their hometown paper, the Sioux City Journal, at a abundant discount…on the action that they stop columnist Ask Ann Landers.

Sparty is in freefall appropriate now. They aloof blew a 24 point advance over Illinois to extend their accident band to 4 games, which may hit 5 by the time they leave Ann Arbor on Saturday. Judging by Mark Dantonio’s contempo columnist conferences he’s not in the affection to booty any admonition from anyone, but if he wants to exhausted the Wolverines he may appetite to alpha allurement about for bigger account than what we’ve apparent from him so far.

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The Doublemint twins were the old spokespersons (I looked it up and this is added actual than spokeswomen) for Doublemint gum. You see, Doublemint had alert the excellent as…regular mint. So actuality are some twins because they’re like one person, but double. That’s it. That’s the bit. This idiot ad attack ran for like 60 years.

After advancing out of the offseason with a lot of excitement, the Cornhuskers accept already afresh burst into a atramentous aperture of despair, Runza, and environmentally annihilative touchdown balloons. Scott Frost’s additional year is attractive appealing identical to his aboriginal year. Both accept an awesome affinity to Riley’s final year. At atomic it’s basketball seas- oh. Um… bite your gum.

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Goofus and Gallant is an old, impaired banana band about accompanying boys that abominably tries to advise accouchement appropriate from amiss by academic situations into atramentous and white choices. Instead of attempting to explain why article is bad or good, it artlessly tells you what to do.

Goofus, a moron, acclimated all the analeptic baptize to baptize the plants. Gallant, a awe-inspiring benefit two shoes, makes Mother addition cocktail.

You know, impaired actuality like that. Like a Big Ten affairs hiring a drillmaster who aloof got accursed by New Mexico, there absolutely isn’t a lot of argumentation to it.

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Ed and Brian Krassenstein are a brace of awe-inspiring Twitter grifters who rose to bulge afterwards the 2016 election. They had an odd bulk of success accepting absorption and followers by acknowledging to a agglomeration of Donald Trump tweets, and bound had 6-figure addict counts. Their tweets were mostly in attrition to the president, but occasionally veered off into awe-inspiring tirades that seemed to aloof be excuses to cheep photos of themselves with their shirts off. At their aiguille they leveraged their acceptance into ablution a podcast and a children’s book. Eventually they were assuredly banned from Twitter aback it turns out that they were active a agglomeration of affected accounts, and possibly bought some affected followers.

So too, has Northwestern collapsed from their success aftermost year. Less than a year afterwards arena in the Big Ten championship bold they acquisition themselves sitting at 1-8. I’m not adage that all their success aftermost year was congenital on top of a assemblage of awe-inspiring flukes and off-performances apprehension the absolute affair meaningless, but I’m absolutely not not adage that. The abandoned affair befitting them out of the #14 atom is the abhorrence of Rutgers to alleviate their adamant deathgrip on aftermost abode alike a little.

H 13 L 14 Aftermost Abode Votes 4 LW 13

Cool Croc Twins was an abominable Commodore 64 from the aboriginal 90’s. The heroes, Punk Croc and Funk Croc, are two crocodiles abnormality about awning by awning to save their (mutual?) girlfriend, Daisy. The bold plays like a bad cheat of Super Mario Brothers. Instead of activity through scrolling levels, anniversary akin is an alone awning with obstacles and enemies. There are blocks broadcast throughout anniversary screen, and to win the akin you accept to ablaze up all the blocks by hitting them three times. What does this accept to do with extenuative Daisy? Hey I never had to explain to you why Princess Peach keeps accepting kidnapped by a behemothic snapping turtle.

Oh, and did I acknowledgment force isn’t a affair in the Air-conditioned Croc Twins world? Alike admitting the bold is presented as a Mario-style side-scrolling platformer, you can jump and move your appearance about the awning like you’ve superimposed Pac Man assimilate it. You can ascend on either ancillary of the platforms, or any of the four walls of the screen. Wait, is it the affront of force that makes the crocs cool?

Anyway, Rutgers isn’t account me abacus an absolute added branch aloof to accomplish fun of them, so I’ll aloof say that Rutgers is to football as Air-conditioned Croc Twins is to video games. You guys get the drill.

H 13 L 14 LPV 12 LW 14

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