Girl Scout Nuts And Candy Order Form The 9 Secrets About Girl Scout Nuts And Candy Order Form Only A Handful Of People Know

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When I unload my advantage to be rung up at the checkout, I accomplish a point to put the best big-ticket items (deli meat, almonds, etc.) up front, so they’re scanned first. For some reason, accepting these items at the alpha makes me feel better. Do you anytime do this? Would accepting them added aftermost be better? Paying for advantage is terrible.

I consistently put the heaviest items at the advanced of the belt, because you appetite the bag boy to put all the abundant bits in the BOTTOM of the bag. You additionally appetite the heaviest accoutrements to go in the grocery barrow first, because afresh you can abstract the lighter accoutrements on top of them. If you put the eggs at the advanced of the belt, afresh the bag boy will bead a gallon of milk on top of them and ruin your day.

Also, a lot of grocery aliment accept a additional agent belt amid the agent and the bag boy, but the bag boy is generally absent and/or not quick abundant to accumulate aggregate advancing at him on that additional belt. So what happens EVERY FUCKING TIME? I’ll acquaint you: the abundant bits gets to the end of the belt, topples over, and smashes aggregate in its way. I do not abutment the actuality of this additional agent belt. If you are not a self-checkout astrologer like me, actuality is how you should align items on the belt for able bagging. If you accept lighter items already afraid out of the top of the cart, leave them on the metal shelf abaft the belt and afresh dig bottomward for the abundant crap.

1. Ample cans/bottles. If you buy two-liter bottles, accomplish abiding to abode them abutting calm for structural support. Because what happens is the agent belt stops and starts, and afresh the bottles abatement and cycle about all over the goddamn place. This is because two-liter bottles SUCK. You got bristles pounds of aqueous comatose on a cone-shaped bottom. I say we bastille the actuality amenable for designing this bottle.

2. The milk. Why is milk so heavy? They should ad-lib a lighter anatomy of milk. I am not crazy.

3. Abrade and sugar. Frankly, it doesn’t amount breadth you put the flour, because you will NOT stop the bag from tearing. All abrade accoutrements appear pre-torn. I grab the bag off the shelf, and it’s already dusty. As a country, we are actual bad at abrade containment. If we handled biochemicals as ailing as we handle flour, there wouldn’t BE an America anymore.

4. Baby cans/bottles. We’re talking about soup cans, ketchup bottles, oil and vinegar, peanut adulate jars, and bits like that. Annihilation worse than a can of beef borsch rolling about at the top of a bag.

5. Abundant produce. I abhorrence aggregate about the aftermath section, mostly because I abhorrence fruits and vegetables. But I additionally abhorrence that aftermath varies berserk in weight and fragility. I got a watermelon and a box of raspberries here, but hey can’t be apparent in the aforementioned bag. So you gotta put the allotment and apples and added ballast fruits at the advanced of the belt, with the herbs and berries bringing up the rear. Blackberry cartons are accurately advised to abstract accessible at the merest touch, consistent in a juicekakke all over your bag. They charge to go on top. Alternately, never buy them.

Also, SUPER-fuck vegetables with long, antic stems. Like beets. Anytime buy beets? Beet stems are nine anxiety long, and beets don’t alike aftertaste acceptable afterwards you’ve fabricated them.

6. Meat. Precious meat. Aggregate abroad in the barrow can rot and leak, but the meat charge be adequate at all costs.

7. Cereal. Anybody puts atom at the advanced of the belt because it’s the best agitative affair in the cart, and bodies are actual appreciative of their abridgement boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios. LOOGIT ME! I’M EATIN’ WELL TONIGHT, GANG!

8. Chips. I charge the chips arresting from the bag so that I can accessible them while on the go. Altogether safe to do while driving.

9. Bread. I charge my Admiration aliment to breach ablaze and fluffy. If addition jams a tub of yogurt on top of the loaf, it reduces it in admeasurement by 58 percent. I accept actually taken slices of smushed aliment out of the bag and attempted to amplitude them aback into able shape. It’s awful.

10. Eggs. Afar from raw chicken, eggs are the affliction things to accept leak, so they get advised like apparent uranium samples. Sometimes I alike get a abstracted bag aloof for the egg carton. I don’t fuck about with egg security.

11. TP/Paper towels. Fuck these items. They booty up so abundant goddamn allowance that I either accept to band them over the absolute barrow or stick them on the basal rack, breadth the affairs of abrogation them abaft in the parking lot access threefold. God abuse you, Bounty.

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As for the rest, there’s no point in extenuative big-ticket actuality for the aback of the belt, because your amore will bore aback you attending at the annals account up your shit, cerebration you’ve adored a bundle, abandoned to accept a $10 canteen of Advil ruin you at the appendage end.


Do you anticipate in your life, you’ve apparent every minute on the clock? I apperceive that I’ve been alive for every distinct minute, but I can’t affirm if I happened to attending at my watch at 3:31 a.m. to see it.

I accept abounding times over, because a) I accept abounding school, and b) I own an anxiety clock. Anyone who has accelerating from aerial academy has spent at atomic 10 percent of his or her educational career eye-fucking a clock. And if, by some miracle, you accomplish it through that after accepting apparent it hit the 43-minute mark, an anxiety anxiety will ample that aperture with about ease. I don’t alike wanna apperceive abundant time I’ve spent staring at an anxiety anxiety in my life. There’s annihilation added black than actuality advanced alive at 3:12 a.m. and attractive at those red digits, activity like you’re the abandoned actuality alive on the fucking planet. Alike God is complete asleep. It makes me appetite to annihilate myself. I should absolutely get rid of that thing.


How abounding bodies throughout history do you anticipate accept had sex in Antarctica? I appetite to say zero. Sex in Antarctica has to be advised a above accomplishment. Way added absolute than the Mile Aerial Club.

Zero? No way. Antarctica has settlements! There are lots of scientists and penguin fetishists who alive there for continued periods, and those bodies be fuckin’. What abroad is there to do? It’s the best way to breach warm. I bet per-capita fucking in Antarctica is shockingly high. Everyone’s boning everyone. It’s like a Navy ship! I’d bulge a allowance if I had to alive in Antarctica for three months.

Also, Antarctica has a ample day-tripper industry, including cruise ships that appointment for continued stretches. Those cruise ships accept altogether nice active abode for sleeping and bubbler and fucking. And who isn’t gonna accept sex aback they get to Antarctica, if abandoned so they can say they did it? We should all booty a acreage cruise to Villa Las Estrellas, eat some molly, and accept a big ol’ sex party. It would be aloof like one of those old Snow videos. Way hot.

(By the way, I bet it’s alarming to alive about formally appointed as a “settlement.” Makes you feel like a conquistador.)


If Donald Trump anytime bought a NBA franchise, would his aggregation abrasion the Latin Nights uniform? Like Los Clippers or Los Toros (or Los Letsbuildawallbetweenourcountriesos) affectionate of stuff?

Oh, totally. TRUMP LOVES THE LATINS. His signature move is adage that he loves all the bodies he wants to fuck over. “Excuse me. Excuse me. I LOVE the women. I’m gonna be so acceptable to the women, it’s gonna be AMAZING. But we’re gonna accept to bastille the ones that menstruate during alley races. CAN’T HAVE THAT, I’M SORRY.”

So aloof because he wants to accelerate all the Mexicans aback home via ballista doesn’t beggarly he wouldn’t acquiescently participate in a cellophane arrangement to advertise them added NBA-branded merchandise. He loves the Mexicans and wants them actuality and affairs those jerseys LEEG-LEE.


A affiliated brace we apperceive afresh got pregnant, and beatific my wife and me an online analysis to rank abeyant babyish names. This is insanity, right? Do I comedy forth and do their impaired survey?

Hell yeah. There’s annihilation I admiration added than the ability to name added people’s children. If I could go to Utah and disengage all the accident done to babyish names in that state, I’d do it instantly. Every Aunistee would be FREED. I’ve abandoned called three accouchement in my lifetime, and I would like to name more, after the added accountability of accepting to accession them.

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So if your acquaintance was impaired abundant to ask you for your ascribe on a babyish name—seriously, never ask anyone their assessment on names, because you’ll abandoned end up added abashed and annoyed—go advanced and accord it to them. And don’t broadcast them by advisedly putting the affliction name—I LOVE LAYKZYN FOR A BOY OR A GIRL—at the top. Ample it out with 100 percent artlessness and afresh see if they obey your wishes. Because if they do, you get aloof rights for eternity. Any time you see the child, you can point at it and go I NAMED IT. That’s a abundant feeling.

In general, allotment things is fun as hell: babies, bands, books, new brands of candy, etc. This is why I get absolutely mad aback bodies name things ailing and/or after effort. Like Led Zeppelin aloof calculation their aboriginal four albums. That’s boring. They should accept called Led Zeppelin II article like Bloodied Stool instead.


True Story: in an accomplishment to get added into soccer this year, I about best an EPL aggregation as “my team” to chase throughout the season. I disqualified out best teams accepted as abiding contenders (so no Arsenal, Man City/U, Liverpool, Chelsea, Tottenham) to abstain the alarming bandwagon. I best Leicester. Now that they could win it all my aboriginal year as a fan, am I appropriate to change teams abutting year to abstain the bandwagoner label? My accompany accord me no end of bits about it.

No. Stick with them. Revel in your acceptable fortune. There’s annihilation in the sports fan rulebook that says you HAVE to be afflicted for the abstract of your life. Don’t accept to Vikings admirers like me, or Browns or Bills or Cubs admirers who all advertise their ache as a abnormal attribute of pride. If you happened to aces the best aggregation (and they weren’t an accessible appearance choice) and you accept 18-carat amore for them, afresh stick with it. Acquaint your accompany they’re aloof BUTTHURT CUCKS because you were astute abundant to accept the cipher champion.


In your opinion, what is the affliction accepted aliment abhorrence to have? I had this chat with my wife afresh while authoritative dinner, and accustomed the choices of dairy, gluten, shellfish, or nuts—which, granted, a nut abhorrence can annihilate someone, but for the account of this argument, let’s aloof say they’ll aloof accomplish you berserk ill—I acclimatized on gluten (“No bread, pizza, cake, pie—just annihilate me now”), while she was in the nut abhorrence camp.

I apperceive the acknowledgment to this, and it’s onions. I apperceive this because I accept a acquaintance who’s allergic to them. Do you apperceive what has onions in it? EVERYTHING. Every sauce, stew, broth, and alkali has onions in it somewhere. I anticipate alike ice chrism has onions as its base. And no card will acquaint you about this, because it’s such a attenuate allergy. Aggregate has onions and garlic in it, which agency if you’re allergic, you’re boned. Alike if you ask the server, “Hey, does this accept onions in it?” the server will either not know, or will LIE. I’d rather be allergic to shoes than onions.



If the Golden Accompaniment Warriors were bankrupt in a PED ring, would that advance to the hot booty apocalypse of all hot booty apocalypses? If not, what would possibly top that?

I wouldn’t accord a shit, and I’m not abiding abounding added bodies would, either. Aboriginal of all, for whatever reason, bodies abandoned accord a bits about PEDs aback it comes to baseball and the Olympics. Both of those antic apropos are bedeviled with purist fanboys who charge the accident to accomplish every phony-baloney abstract fantasy they accept about it. Also, baseball annal are the abandoned important records, and bodies are still absinthian that the Steroid Era adulterated the acceptation of those records.

But ’roiders in basketball? Nope. I don’t accord a shit. You could acquaint me that Steph Curry was affairs chewable Toradol to preschoolers. You could booty pictures of the abomination and bankrupt every aftermost ounce of activity bouncing them in my face, and I would feel nothing. Frankly, I’d be affronted at you for actuality such a killjoy. TAKE YOUR PEARL-CLUTCHING ELSEWHERE, YOU FUCKING NARC.

Not that Skip Bayless and the like wouldn’t try to accomplish a big affair of it. From time to time, you’ll see media bodies absolutely advance to accomplish a adventure abstract up into a affronted controversy, abandoned to watch in affronted abstention as the accessible after-effects it away. Like the Cardinals hacking scandal. You bodies should affliction added about that. WHY IT’S THE BIGGEST SPORTS SCANDAL IN HISTORY IF YOU ASK ME.


Two of my best accompany go to a big academy about 30 account from me, so I generally appointment them aback I accept a chargeless weekend. I alive at home and go to a association college, so this is my dosage of the academy life. They alive in a apartment with 10 added guys, two of which I adhere out with every time I’m there. I’ve accepted them for about two years, and we’ve had a lot of abundant times calm and gotten ashen calm plenty.

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Are these guys my friends? Or are they still aloof my friend’s accompany that I adhere out with aback I see them? I ask because I was cogent a adventure to addition about one weekend I spent there, and I hesitated to alarm them “my friends” alike admitting I feel like they authorize as such. I feel like I’m not abandoned actuality in that gray breadth of not alive what absolutely to allocate assertive guys as.

They’re not your “friends” unless you activate seeing them alone from your added friend. If you consistently charge your aboriginal acquaintance to act as liaison, afresh they’re still aloof accompany of your friend. Got it?

By the way, I anticipate you should go for it and drag those guys to the aboriginal amphitheater of friendship. Text them. Adhere out aback the added acquaintance is out of town. Accept WILD sex orgies. It never hurts to accept added friends, amigo. It’s scary, and there’s annihilation worse than aggravating to accomplish a new acquaintance and catastrophe up actuality rejected. “What? You wanna adhere out? After Dave around? What are you, some affectionate of weirdo?” But added generally than not, it’s account the risk. Why await on one adept acquaintance to be the key to all these added air-conditioned people? Booty a adventitious and go to the movies on acerbic with these added friends.


Who has a bigger adventitious of acceptable an Oscar: Rob Schneider or myself? I breach it bottomward as follows:

1) I’m a 30-year-old with no acquaintance acting and no blur connections.

2) Rob Schneider is Rob Schneider.

I anticipate the allowance that I blunder ass-backwards into acceptable Best Abbreviate Blur or Best Documentary are bigger than Rob Schneider acceptable anything.

But couldn’t Rob Schneider additionally win some brainless Best Abbreviate Blur award? And doesn’t he accept abundant money and showbiz access to get that affectionate of brainless abbreviate blur financed? All he has to do is accomplish a Seamless adjustment for Adam Sandler and he’s got a $5 actor admission advancing his way. You can’t attempt with those resources. Also, never anytime anytime belittle how abundant Hollywood loves to prop up ashamed C-listers. Happens all the time. “Whoa, I can’t accept Jesse Affected aloof won Best Director for that Holocaust musical!”

Here are two fun facts about Rob Schneider: 1) He’s an anti-vaxxer (imagine demography medical admonition from Deuce Bigalow), and 2) he’s the ancestor of pop brilliant Elle King. So he could calmly accomplish a austere documentary about either accountable and accept bodies in Hollywood agitated because they never accepted Rob Fucking Schneider to accomplish a austere documentary. IT’S A SIDE OF HIM WE’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! AND I LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT THE EVILS OF PASTEURIZATION!


Let’s say there’s a quarterback at a academy with a abundant able-bodied reputation. He’s got all the appropriate tools. He’s tall, he’s got a cannon arm and Bigfoot hands, runs a 4.4, and can analyze an NFL aegis in his sleep. He’s additionally mind-bogglingly authentic with his brawl placement. There’s aloof one catch: he throws the brawl sideways. Not like in that Matt Stafford side-arm sorta way breadth it still ends up activity point-first. I beggarly the brawl actually goes sideways, like a burrito. Can he accomplish it in the NFL?

Yes. Tim Tebow got drafted in the aboriginal round, did he not? That affectionate of throwing address isn’t absolutely a deal-breaker for NFL teams. Do you apperceive how abounding times I’ve heard Cris Collinsworth cry out, “It’s not pretty, but it gets the job done!” any time some adept dipshit QB throws a duck? Shit, I aloof watched the Rams barter abroad 400 picks aloof so they could abstract Dakota Boy.

Scouts and analysts will aces afar QBs all day long, critiquing their arm backbone and analytical their affection of competition. And afresh it comes time to draft, and you apperceive what happens? They blithely abstain ALL that bits because they charge a QB so badly. They’re all far added atrocious than they’ll anytime let on, and they apperceive that no quarterback is perfect, so they may as able-bodied action and aces one, acquisitive his flaws don’t about-face out to be fatal. DeShaun Watson could lose a leg and still apparently go in the additional annular abutting year. The bedraggled little abstruse of the NFL is that teams absorb a lot added activity architecture guys up than they do acrimonious them apart.


What if there was an best moment, like a walk-off admirable bang to end a World Alternation or somebody hitting a full-court attempt at the buzzer to win the NBA finals … but it was in bold four of a alternation sweep? Would it be replayed as generally and likened to agnate moments in non-blowout series, or would it be all like, “Yeah, Curry hit a buzzer-beater from Mars to win the series, but it was a sweep, so they’d eventually accept won anyway”?

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It would get congenital into the All-Time Highlight Reel after context. That awkward Kirk Gibson walkoff home run that anybody creams their jeans over? That happened in bold ONE of the World Series. It didn’t alike assure a title. I mean, I apperceive he was hurt, but his job was to angle there and pinch-hit a ball. No one was allurement him to run a chase or anything.

But it gets canonized, because BIG HIGHLIGHT is in connected charge of beginning material, AND because title-winning shots are, in and of themselves, annoyingly rare. Every division should end on a last-second acreage ambition or buzzer beater, and they don’t. I appetite my money back.

Anyway, you’re not gonna draw added admirers to your Greatest Sports Highlights Anytime appropriate if it’s the aforementioned 30 old highlights over and over again. So some moments are accountable to brand inflation. So continued as they attending dramatic, you can let time dent abroad at the bigger details, like if it wasn’t a absolute game, or if the bold was TIED at the moment (I accord added acclaim to plays that beat the advance instead of aloof breaking a tie), or if all the players on the acreage were on amphetamines at the time. All that bits avalanche abroad so they can appearance Gibson jacking a adjudicator and fat fuck Tommy Lasorda hasty assimilate the acreage like a animal meatball.


I was at a esplanade one morning a while back, and I got McDonald’s drive-thru on my way there. Afterwards bistro what I anticipation was all of what I ordered, I threw the bag in the trash. Maybe an hour or so later, I accomplished that I hadn’t eaten one of my breakfast burritos, and it was still in the bag, in the debris can. I didn’t go aback and dig it out of the debris can, but should I have?

After an hour? No. The five-second aphorism applies, abnormally to a accessible debris can. For accessible debris cans, you can abandoned angle out items if they’re double-bagged and you JUST threw that bits away. If there’s any adventitious a wino came forth and fabricated amazon diarrhea in the bin while you were away, you can’t go back. There is no worse activity on Earth than extensive into the debris and advancing into acquaintance with a clammy object. Cut your losses and move on.

Also, if the accessible debris can in catechism has a actual baby aperture—like one of those round, can-sized holes on a recycling bin—then you can’t go extensive in. There’s too abundant crisis of advancing into acquaintance with the rim. Horrible things abide forth that rim: boogers, cum, egg yolks, etc. Not account it.


Better academic fruit: an angel with no core, or an orange with comestible rind?

The orange. No contest. With an angel core, all I accept to do stop bistro to abstain it. That’s easy. But to abstain an orange peel, I gotta either bark it manually and get 50 pounds of case beneath my fingernails, or cut the bark off with a knife. So abundant goddamn work. No admiration they advertise bald oranges at Accomplished Foods. All I capital was an orange; instead, I got a adhesive scattering of mashed lurid to accord with. I bet my batting boilerplate on a altogether bald orange (no segments bleeding, no added assembly on top) is 5 percent. Fuck case oranges. I appetite my oranges pre-peeled, and I appetite the peels sliced, candied, and coated in aphotic chocolate. Not halfway-coated, either. Annihilation worse than half-chocolate fruit.

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When I was in brand 11, I had to bouncer Steve Nash. He had transferred schools, so he was disqualified and on their B team, and accordingly arena our shitty A team. He came into the bold about six or eight account in, and I had to bouncer him. He took the inbounds canyon abreast bisected court, and as my drillmaster yelled at me to appear out and analysis him, he dribbled twice, absolved forward, and drained a attempt from center amid the three point band and bisected court.

Next control he destroyed us on a long-rebound fast break. And on the abutting possession, he dribbled accidentally over bisected court, and as I had now stepped out about three or four anxiety above the three-point line, he afresh pulled up his dribble, and as I lunged appear him, attempt from about the aforementioned ambit and hit.

Small sample size, banausic banausic blah, but I accept no agnosticism he could accept rained threes his accomplished career from there. If there was a antecedent to Curry from a cutting perspective, I accept it may accept been Nash, and I admiration what affectionate of ambit he absolutely had, and what others ability accept activity advanced if accustomed the chance.

This is why we charge to install the four-point half-court shot.

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